7 tips for emotionally intelligent managers of newly remote teams

7 tips for emotionally intelligent managers of newly remote teams

As you lead a newly remote team through these uncertain times, you may need to rethink communication, deadlines, gossip, and forgiveness, for starters

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Many organizations and companies are coming to terms with the changes forced on them by COVID-19 and working out what it means to them, their employees and their work patterns. For many people who were previously in offices, it means working from home: See 9 tips for new home workers. If you’re reading this, then you’re probably a manager, working with people who don’t normally work from home – which may include you – so here are some tips for you during this time.

1. Communicate

As managers, we’re used to being (or at pretending to be) the most important person in our team’s lives during the working day.

Does that meeting need to be at 9 am? Do you need to have the meeting today – could it be tomorrow? As managers, we’re used to being (or at pretending to be) the most important person in our team’s lives during the working day. For many, that will have changed, and we become a distant second, third or fourth. Family and friends may need help and support, kids may need setting up with schoolwork, or a million other issues may come up which mean that expecting attention at the times that we expect it is just not plausible.

Investigate the best medium (or media) for communicating with each separate member of your team, whether that’s synchronous or asynchronous IM, email, phone, or a daily open video conference call, where anybody can turn up and just be present.

Be aware of your team’s needs – which you just can’t do without communicating with them – and also be aware that those needs may change over the coming weeks.

[ Do your employees feel psychologically safe? Read Crisis leadership: How to give people psychological safety. ]

2. Flex deadlines

Some people will be managing at best only "bursty" periods of work, at abnormal times .

Whether we like it or not, there are things more important than work deadlines at the moment. Although you may find that some people produce work as normal, others will be managing at best only “bursty” periods of work, at abnormal times (for some, the weekend may work best, for others the evenings after the kids have gone to bed). Be flexible about deadlines, and ask your team what they think they can manage.

This may go up and down over time, and may even increase as people get used to new styles of working. But adhering to hard deadlines isn’t going to help anybody in the long run – and we need to be ready for the long run.

3. Gossip has its place

This may seem like an odd one, but gossip is good for human relationships. When you start a call, set aside some time to chat about what’s going on where the other participants are, in their homes and beyond. This will help your team feel that you care, but also allow you to become aware of some issues before they arise.

A word of caution, however: there may be times when it becomes clear in your discussions that a team-member is struggling. In this case, you have two options. If the issue seems to be urgent, you may well choose to abandon the call (be sensitive about how you do this if it’s a multi-person call) and to spend time working with the person who is struggling, or signposting them directly to some other help.

If the issue doesn’t seem to be urgent, but threatens to take over the call, then ask the person whether they would be happy to follow up later. In the latter case, you must absolutely do that: Once you have recognized an issue, you have a responsibility to help, whether that help comes directly from you or with support from somebody else.

4. Accommodate

Frankly, this builds on our other points: You need to be able to accommodate your team’s needs, and to recognize that they may change over time, but will also almost certainly be different from yours.

Be more of a support than a hindrance to their (often drastically altered) new working lives.

Whether it’s the setting for meetings, pets and children, poor bandwidth, strange work patterns, sudden unavailability or other changes, accommodating your team’s needs will make them more likely to commit to the work they are expected to do – not to mention make them feel valued, and consider you as more of a support than a hindrance to their (often drastically altered) new working lives.

5. Forgive your team's mistakes

Sometimes, your team may do things which feel like they’ve crossed the line – the line in “normal” times. They may fail to deliver to a previously agreed deadline, turn up for an important meeting appearing dishevelled, or speak out of turn, maybe. This probably isn’t their normal behavior (if it is, then you have different challenges), and it’s almost certainly caused by their abnormal circumstances. You may find that you are more stressed, and more likely to react negatively to failings (or perceived failings).

If you go into interactions with the expectation of openness, kindness and forgiveness, then that is likely to be reciprocated.

Take a step back. Breathe. Finish the call early, if you have to, but try to understand why the behavior that upset you did upset you, and then forgive it. That doesn’t mean that there won’t need to be some quiet discussion later on to address it, but if you go into interactions with the expectation of openness, kindness and forgiveness, then that is likely to be reciprocated. We all need that.

6. Forgive your own mistakes

You will make mistakes. You are subject to the same stresses and strains as your team, with the added burden of supporting them. You need to find space for yourself, and to forgive yourself when you do make a mistake. That doesn’t mean abrogating responsibility for things you have done wrong, and neither is it an excuse not to apologize for inappropriate behavior. But constantly berating yourself will add to your stresses and strains, and is likely to exacerbate the problem, rather than relieve it.

You have a responsibility to look after yourself so that you can look after your team: not beating yourself up about every little thing needs to be part of that.

7. Prepare for a new future

Nobody knows how long we’ll be doing this, but what are you going to do when things start going back to normal? One thing that will come up is the ability of at least some of your team to continue working from home or remotely.

If they have managed to do so given all the complications and stresses of lockdown, kids and family members under their feet, they will start asking “well, how about doing this the rest of the time?” – and you should be asking exactly the same question. Some people will want to return to the office, and some will need to – at least for some of the time.

But increased flexibility will become a hallmark of the organizations that don’t just survive this crisis, but actually thrive after it. You, as a leader, need to consider what comes next, and how your team can benefit from the lessons that you – collectively – have learned.

[ Read also: 3 mindfulness exercises to try when you feel overwhelmed. ]

Mike Bursell joined Red Hat in August 2016, following previous roles at Intel and Citrix working on security, virtualisation, and networking. After training in software engineering, he specialised in distributed systems and security, and has worked in architecture and technical strategy for the past few years.

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